Turtle Tending

This past August I became the sole provider of a three-toed box turtle. Unable to locate an owner, and my sister Brooke being adamant that my nephew Jake be eight before he can have it as a pet, it fell to me to care for this animal. I've had many different types of pets: dogs, fish, crabs, frogs, mice, hamsters, gerbils, lizards, snakes, a ferret, pigeons, and for a few days, a bat (not all at the same time). But I never realized how much effort is required to take care of this turtle. My first hurdle was trying to figure out what kind of turtle it was. After some time, I was able to figure that out. The next obstacle was finding the adequate enclosure. I finally settled on a very large, rubbermaid type container. After that, figuring out what he ate was the next challenge. Now that those are resolved it is now making sure I keep the thing alive.
In trying to find the answers to all these questions, I have learned a lot about turtles. Not an expert by any means, but much more knowledgeable. I know it is a male. It's about seven years old. It has red-orange forelegs, with the same colors on the sides of it head. It likes to eat worms and slugs. Bannanas are popular too, but lettuce it won't touch.
Anyhow, I am enjoying this new adventure. I don't know that I would choose it as an everday pet, but for the next two years I think I'll be okay.

My Favorite Media Dads

I look forward to the day when I am married and have children of my own. Until then I have been making a list of dads from TV/Film that I 'admire.' Some are fictional and others from real life. There are many quality men who qualify. But why a list? Recently I watched Cinderella Man and Pursuit of Happyness. I began to think about the kind of father I hope to be. These men were inspiring. Some of the men on my list aren't your 'Father of the Year' candidates. But they are men who love their kids. So without further ado, in no particular order, my top ten dads of all time:

1. Mr. Parker (Darren McGavin) A Christmas Story: From his incoherent cussing to his casual looks of annoyance. Mr. Parker, as he's known in the movie, was awesome, period! Mr. Parker: He looks like a deranged Easter Bunny. Mother: He does not! Mr. Parker: He does too, he looks like a pink nightmare!
2. Homer J. Simpson-The Simpsons: He may not win 'Father of the Year.' Okay, he won't ever win, but when he really must be a good dad, he can. Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
3. Andy Taylor (Andy Griffith) The Andy Griffith Show: He's actually one of my idols. He was a single father and sheriff in the fictional town of Mayberry, North Carolina. Surrounded by eccentric townsfolk and a bumbling deputy (but you gotta love Barney), Sheriff Taylor brought sanity to Mayberry.
4. Tie: Ray Barone and Frank Barone (Ray Romano and Peter Boyle) Everybody Loves Raymond: Again, both father and son are not exactly Fathers of the Year material, but pretty cool, easy-going, laid back dads. Frank Barone: [to Ray] You're even dumber than I tell people.
5. Chris Gardner (Will Smith) The Pursuit of Happyness: This guy was amazing. He showed true love a father should have for a child. If you didn't buy into the movie, and walked away feeling better about life, that is sad. Favorite quote: Chris Gardner to his son: Don't ever let someone tell you, you can't do something. Not even me. All right?
6. Jim Braddock (Russell Crowe) Cinderella Man: Much like Chris Gardner, a real dad. Jim Braddock: I have to believe that when things are bad I can change them.
7. Cliff Huxtable (Bill Cosby) The Cosby Show: He's actually not one of my favorite, favorites. But it's hard to keep him off my list. Clair: So you don't want another child? Cliff: There's times that I don't even want the ones we have.
8. Atticus Finch (Gregory Peck) To Kill a Mockingbird: In a time when showing kindness to a black man was virtually against the law, Atticus raised Jem and Scout to see equality in all people. Atticus: There's a lot of ugly things in this world, son. I wish I could keep 'em all away from you. That's never possible.
9. Jimmy Morris (Dennis Quaid) The Rookie: I love the relationship between Jim Morris and his little son.
10. Buck Russell (John Candy) Uncle Buck: Yes, I know he's not a dad. This one is for all the uncles out there. As an uncle to 12 nieces and nephews, I've had the opportunity to babysit. You'd be hard pressed to find an a more caring, loving, and funny uncle than Uncle Buck. Buck to niece Tia: Stand me up today, and I'll drive you to school in my robe and pajamas and walk you to your first class.

Dating Woes

A friend recently posed the question, "Why is dating so hard?" A good question and one loaded with many relevant answers. Before I begin, I want to state that I am using 'we' to mean men and women and in no way does this imply that it is universal, that everyone fits this. In addition, I also want to stipulate that in no way am I an expert or will you completely agree with my assessments. Plus, I am guilty of some of these things as well. So, in no particular order, here goes:

1. Unrealistic expectations. We place expectations on others that even we might not even be able to attain. We want them to be 'like' us. Most have heard opposites attract. This is true if you are a magnet. In life, we are attracted to those most similar to us. One word of caution: Don't look for someone exactly like you . . . you probably will end up not liking them as much later. Because you think something is right for you, don't expect it to be so for someone else. Also, remember, we are all unique individuals and how you're feeling may not be how they are feeling. Give the benefit of the doubt.
2. Fear. We allow fear to control us to the point that we may walk away from a good thing. This might be because of past experiences. And Satan is the chief source of helping us use our fears to control us. Fear of being hurt. We have all felt this and probably been the cause of it to someone else and possibly ourselves too. Sometimes this fear is a fear of change. We get established and comfortable with a certain type of lifestyle and any change to this can cause fear. A good quote fits this: "By probing to deeply, or talking endlessly about some problems, we can foolishly cause the very thing we are trying to prevent . . ." -President Boyd K. Packer. If your fear is divorce, getting hurt, loss of income, infidelity, or any other relationship fear, be careful how much you think about it. It can consume you. Don't create a problem where one does not exist.
3. Selfishness. In a book I read not to long ago, the authors all mentioned how most divorces arise because of selfishness on one or both in the marriage (and we can add a dating relationship). I feel President Gordon B. Hinckley said it best: "I am satisfied that a happy marriage is not so much a matter of romance as it is an anxious concern for the comfort and well-being of one's companion." What you think and feel matters, but so does that of your loved one.
4. Misplaced priorities. We all want security, financial and romantic. But to what extent are we misplacing what truly matters with what matters?
5. Disrespect. For the men, we need to look at women as who they truly are: Daughters of God and future mothers. We need to respect their bodies and their minds. And we men need to remember this quote from President Hinckley, “The girl you marry will take a terrible chance on you." But for all of us, we need to give respect to get respect.
6. Seinfeld Syndrome. Most of us have a preconceived image of our ideal spouse. At the request of a friend, I once had a list of the physical and spiritual attributes I looked for in a woman. When meeting someone new we tend to 'check off' what qualities and attributes they posses and which they don't. In addition, we often compare this person to someone we previously loved. If they don't quite measure up, then we are quick to send them on their way. The sad thing is, we may be missing on getting to know someone very special. Ask yourself an important question: "Would I measure up on their list?" We need to love someone because we are physically attracted to them, but more importantly, we need to truly love them because of who they are.
7. Communication. Talk. Listen. Listen. Listen. Then act.
8. We are who we are: Maybe this should be number one on the list, but men are from mars and women are from venus. That pretty much sums it up.
9. Comparisons: Often we have been in a relationship that we felt very comfortable in. We may have even loved the other person. Then comes a breakup. The problem here can be that we compare our last with all those who are now interested in us. This is unfair to them and to ourselves.
10. Loving and Being loved: We all have an innate need to give love and to be loved. But for some of us, we make it very hard for someone else to love us, despite their many efforts.
    

That said, life is good and life is great. Wish you all the best.
Feel free to give your input or add to this list.